TMZ Pronounces “Cajun Justice” Dead

July 30, 2012 By Leave a Comment

Disgraced King Vernon Bourgeois

TMZ is the Grim Reaper of gossip sites, having broken news of the deaths of Michael Jackson, Whitney Houston, and Heath Ledger. On Monday, the site reported the (timely) demise of the A&E reality show “Cajun Justice.” When TMZ reports you’re dead, you’re dead. However, that last death announcement should come with an asterisk. Media reports out of south Louisiana have said for months that Terrebonne Parish’s new sheriff, Jerry Larpenter, would not let his deputies participate in the show, once he took office. Thus, TMZ’s report comes as no surprise.

Former Sheriff Vernon Bourgeois’ lasting legacy will be inspiring TMZ to take a crap on the bloated carcass of his agency’s “reality” show. That and mismanaging the department’s money to the point Larpenter had to lay off deputies to make up for Bourgeois’ fiscally irresponsible behavior. Vernon Bourgeois, take a bow. You’re king no more. Love live the greedy, starry-eyed, simple-minded Cajun sheriff king!

I wrote about my misgivings with “Cajun Justice” months ago. Nothing’s changed. I only saw bits and pieces of episodes, but what I observed made me hang my head in shame. Bourgeois should have resigned for reasons explained here but I am relieved knowing he can no longer embarrass his agency, his culture, or himself with a second season of this garbage.

Filed Under: Television, Thibodaux, World Affairs Tagged With: , , , ,

“Breaking Bad” Season 5, Episode 3

July 30, 2012 By Leave a Comment

WARNING: SPOILERS spoilers SPOILERS spoilers SPOILERS!!!!

Forget the Olympians shown on tape delay Sunday night. “Breaking Bad” took the gold in the TV Olympics. If you’re wondering, AMC’s other show, reality series Small Town Security, failed to make the TV Olympics. That show is to TV what this 11-year-old girl is to National Anthem singers.

“Hazard Pay”, the third episode of “Breaking Bad”‘s fifth season, did not quite match the suspense of its predecessor, “Madrigal”, but it captivated nonetheless, in the way it moved the plot along. Mike is willing to do what it takes to keep his word. Skyler cracks up. And, well, Walt is Walt, the would-be meth kingpin, who never quite controls the chess pieces the way he would like.

Here are my thoughts on “Hazard Pay.” Check it!

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Filed Under: Breaking Bad, Portland, Television Tagged With: , , , , , ,

Poetry: Notorious B.I.G.+ Hippie Mashup

July 29, 2012 By Leave a Comment

NOTE: I am in the midst of drinking my weight in white chocolate mochas on this sun-drenched Sunday afternoon in Portland. Outside Peet’s Coffee on Hawthorne is an eternally stoned hippie Jesus and his hippie lass (think: Miley Cyrus washed-up at 28 with horrendous green arm tats). For some reason, this hippie power duo called to mind Notorious B.I.G., specifically his timeless smash “Hypnotize.” Check it!

Hippie, hippie, hippie, can’t you see
Sometimes your bongos just hypnotize me
And I just love your woodsy ways
Guess that’s why they so clean, and you’re so unbathed (uh!)

PS: Awww! The bearded hippie man stopped playing his bongos to flash a peace sign at a little girl. Somewhere a hippie just got his dreads!!!!

Filed Under: Music, Poetry Tagged With: , , ,

A Checkpoint For The Fringe NOLA Crowd

July 29, 2012 By Leave a Comment

Laura McKnight's stomping grounds

NOTE: I incorrectly labeled Laura McKnight’s post on the Hubig’s Pies fire as her Cajun Tomato writing debut. It was not. I glanced through my archives and neglected this post that originally ran March 20, 2011. When I switched host servers earlier this year the link to this Checkpoint Charlie’s ode was broken, and the post disappeared from the site. Here it is again in all its glory.

By Laura McKnight
Cajun Tomato Correspondent

NEW ORLEANS – As I scribble the notes for this, my heart is working overtime trying to pump greasy beef through my veins. The Cajun Burger from my Laundromat is delicious, but loaded with grease. It’s the kind of grease that trickles out of the meat patty with each bite and dribbles onto jean shorts, staining them.

At this Laundromat, which also happens to be a bar, I could probably just take my shorts off, throw them in the nearest washing machine and chill in my panties with few stares, much less objections. One of my college professors told me he spent part of a rainy Mardi Gras here, buck naked, waiting for clothes to dry.

Stains aside, that burger did nothing good for my physical constitution. Likewise, spending regular laundry sessions at this place, known as Checkpoint Charlie’s, is likely not advisable for healthy living. But it’s fun and my clothes need washing, so I come here anyway. That’s how we roll here in South Louisiana.

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Filed Under: Food, Journalism, Laura McKnight, World Affairs Tagged With: , , ,

Grieving Pies I Never Ate: Reflections On The Fiery Loss Of Hubig’s Pies

July 28, 2012 By 6 Comments

Smoke yo sorrows away!

NOTE: It’s an exciting day on this site. The Olympics have started … I mean, my friend Laura McKnight penned her first piece for this site, and it’s a good one. Laura wrote about New Orleans institution Hubig’s Pies burning down in the early morning hours on Friday near her house. She also provided photos. Talented lady, that Laura McKnight.

I’m a pretty big fan of most South Louisiana specialties – crawfish, Abita beer, Zapp’s potato chips, king cake, Bourgeois beef jerky, etc., etc. – but there are a few things that make me feel like a traitor to my roots: I rather my coffee without chicory, I’m ambivalent about oysters, and I’m pretty sure I have never in my life eaten a sugar-glazed Hubig’s Pie.

That’s right. I have never eaten a Hubig’s Pie, not even with the factory sitting on the next block from my house. I walk past that factory almost every day, often multiple times a day, sometimes catching a whiff of fried sweetness in the air, and I have not tasted one. They just never tempted me, not even with the happy little baker man smiling at me from the front of the bags.

So I don’t even know if I like Hubig’s Pies. But I like the idea of Hubig’s Pies. I dig the happy retro logo, I dig the fried-ness, and I really like living on a block nestled between a cheerful pie factory and the Lost Love Lounge. There’s a metaphor for my life somewhere in that.

A little background for the unfamiliar, and some would say unfortunate: Hubig’s is one of those uniquely New Orleans/South Louisiana icons like K&B, Mr. Bingle, the Special Man on the Frankie and Johnny’s commercials. Hubig’s history in New Orleans goes back to 1921, the factory on Dauphine Street to 1924. Flappers were eating these pies while doing the Charleston.

And like anything uniquely New Orleans, especially anything retro that can be screen-printed onto a T-shirt or made into a group Mardi Gras costume, Hubig’s has a fiercely loyal following. I mean diehard fierce, as in this fire at the pie factory is nothing short of a catastrophe.

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Filed Under: Food, Laura McKnight, Photos, World Affairs Tagged With: , , , , ,

Poetry: “If The Idea Of God Disappears”

July 25, 2012 By Leave a Comment

NOTE: I started this Tuesday during lunch and finished it this morning.

If the idea of god disappears
Who will be there to answer our prayers,
To ease our fears or count our sins
Does this mean the world will never end
Will we look within, accepting responsibility
For our flaws and simple-minded hostilities
Or will we treat each other like shit
And wash our hands clean of all it means to be human
I don’t want to live forever, give me 70 years
Yeah, 70′ll provide enough laughter and tears
But I don’t want to think much about death either
There’s nothing sexy about the Grim Reaper
I’m looking east, toward the sun and the city
Away from the west and its gray misery
Time to wipe away fear and play my chips
As skaterbros say, “Fuck it dude, life’s a risk”

Filed Under: Musings, Poetry, Religion, World Affairs Tagged With: , , , ,

Cloud Nothings Prove Cleveland Rocks With Blistering Bunk Bar Set In Portland

July 23, 2012 By Leave a Comment

Dylan in the Dark

During Cloud Nothings’ second song Saturday night, the bottom string on Joe Boyer’s electric guitar popped. Once the song, “Fall In”, concluded, Boyer crouched to reattach the string while band singer/guitarist Dylan Baldi noodled the silence away. A few minutes later, Boyer stood up, his instrument repaired, and apologized for the delay.

Boyer’s timeout for equipment repair was the only time Cloud Nothings came up for air during its blistering set Saturday night at Bunk Bar in Portland. Rarely have I seen a band assault its instruments the way the Cleveland-based four-piece did. Perhaps The Drew Carey Show was onto something when it declared “Cleveland Rocks!”

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Filed Under: Concert Reviews, Live Music, Music, Portland Tagged With: , , , ,

“Breaking Bad” Season 5, Episode 2

July 23, 2012 By 1 Comment

WARNING: Spoilers, SPOILERS, and Cajun kick-ass sauce BELOW!!!!

The only disappointing thing about this week’s episode of “Breaking Bad” was that it had no moments that made me think of Juggalos. I am joking of course. Episode 2 might go down as one of the series’ finest episodes. It was a white knuckle ride to the finish and raised the bar for the rest of the final season (if that were possible).

Here, in honor of Lydia’s list, are 11 thoughts about this week’s episode, “Madrigal”:

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Filed Under: Breaking Bad, Television Tagged With: , , , , ,

New Higher Ed Cuts Prove Gov. Bobby Jindal Failed Louisiana’s Young Adults

July 21, 2012 By Leave a Comment

Jindal pretends to care

Bobby Jindal, Veep candidate.

Four of the grossest words in the English language.

I remember when Jindal ran for governor of Louisiana he pledged to give the state’s young adults a reason to stay. It sounded too good to be true then, like electioneering pipe dreams. Now, it strikes me as a joke where the punchline is the listener getting punched in the gut. (NOTE: I posted Jindal’s campaign video below.)

Today I read a report that the state had slashed $66 million from its university system. Among the universities forced to absorb millions in cuts was my alma mater, Nicholls State University. This, sadly, is nothing new during Jindal’s reign. Louisiana has cut its university system five times since 2008, slashing $420 million from higher education.

I repeat: $420 million from higher education!!!

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Filed Under: Musings, Thibodaux, World Affairs Tagged With: , , , ,

Track Review: “Same Love” by Macklemore & Ryan Lewis

July 18, 2012 By 1 Comment

Macklemore performing at Roseland Theater

“America the brave, still fears what we don’t know” ~ Macklemore

This morning I wished a “Happy Birthday” to one of my most cherished friends. John is a talented writer, a dedicated mentor, and a damn fine shanty singer. He’s also openly gay.

Hours before I wished John a “Happy Birthday”, Seattle hip-hop act Macklemore & Ryan Lewis dropped “Same Love”, a track, that when I first heard it, brought my thoughts back to John and the equality people like him are denied on a daily basis. The first taste off Macklemore & Ryan Lewis’s highly anticipated debut, The Heist, tackles homophobia and misconceptions about homosexuals in hip-hop culture and society, at large. The words beautiful, powerful, and important all describe this song.

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Filed Under: Music, Track Reviews Tagged With: , , , ,
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