This is the 12th installment of Cajun Tomato’s NYC 100, a daily series chronicling my experiences and observations as a new New Yorker.
A few Saturdays ago I was sitting in a bar in Williamsburg when a skinny man of Dominican descent entered wearing a sleeveless, chicken noodle-colored shirt that failed to reach his belly button. A black camera with a pricey-looking lens hung near his waist. Perhaps he fashioned himself a bohemian photographer. What I do know is he didn’t appear the least bit bothered his shirt was fit for sale in the kids’ section at a neighborhood thrift store.
Ah, hipsters.
They’re everywhere in Williamsburg, like ironic cockroaches convinced granny glasses, scrotum-hugging jeans, and midriff-revealing T-shirts will live on after the apocalypse. Their conversations are like their outfits – ironic, devoid of taste, and loaded with cancerous levels of pretension.
While I lived in Portland there was always noise about Brooklyn, particularly Williamsburg, being its main competition for the mythical title of America’s Hipster Capital.
So where do I stand on Portland vs Williamsburg in the ultimate slap fight of hipsters?
It will take a lot more than a man in a T-shirt that reveals his navel to convince me Williamsburg has Portland beat in the hipster department.
I need to see more ugly, faux artistic neck tattoos. I need to see masses of cult-like bicyclists, who refuse to admit Henry Ford existed. I need to see more people pounding Miller High Life like it’s the fucking champagne of beers, ya know because it is. I need to see more girls walking around in trash chic outfits that negatively impact their hotness score, looking like they could give two shits about your 0-10 scale.
I know there are scores of people in Williamsburg trying their asses off to look like they’re not trying their asses off. I accept that. But they’re going to have to try a hell of a lot harder to not look like they’re trying a hell of a lot harder if they want to overtake Portland as America’s Hipster Capital.
Cajun Tomato’s NYC 100 returns this evening with a tale about “African Martial Arts” as told on the subway by a REALLY LOUD man, who was NOT a Nation of Islam member.
Cool. The answer to my question before I even thought it out loud: Portland, by a significant margin! The hinterlands wonder about such things. Hipster affectation is such great spectator sport. Lexington has limited participation but as the informal “capital” of Eastern Ky where Appalachia goes to The City, it can produce some unique variations. And when a rural hipster dresses a child, watch out!
I like your last sentence A LOT. It brings up ridiculous visions of babies cloaked in the head-turning, What The Fuck Is That fashions of their parents, only in miniature. Lexington is a college town. I imagine it’s got some out there Cats. (pun intended) I want to visit Nashville and Louisville again. It’s been a long time. I bet they have some places to drink and hear live music.
There is some decent live music, which between work and home I seldom have time, money or energy to go see. Yes, college town Lexington sports a few out there cats. And a distinct little clutch of old school hippie bohos, still firm in their belief that the stylings of the late ’60s/early ’70s have just never been surpassed. Some look to have nursed exact clothing pieces through from that millennium, threadbare though their jeans and shirts (and scalps) may be. Was told in the supermarket several month ago that my tie was “groovy” – yes, “groovy” – because it looked like cave art by a scruffy matron in a long loose dress, whose dude was shielding his eyes from the early evening, interior glare with round granny sunglasses. Actually, he did look like he was trying a little too hard.
Groovy is a hippie term. Perhaps the man was high. Likely, in fact.
“I know there are scores of people in Williamsburg trying their asses off to look like they’re not trying their asses off.”
Oh I dunno I think you’re a bit hipster yourself, Mr. Legend! I thought Brooklyn was the hipster capitol as well but from the way you describe it I think the east side of Austin has it beat! I hope you have some more crazy adventures in NYC. Find out where The Strokes hang out. It’s always been a dream of mine to hang out with them.
You take that back, Franklin! Ha!
San Francisco’s Haight Ashbury district might actually have Williamsburg beat. Austin too. I know New Yorkers want to say they have the best of everything – best hipsters is an oxymoron, right? I just don’t see Williamsburg beating out Portland.
Also, the Strokes were experts at acting as if they didn’t give a fuck while actually giving a large fuck. So kudos to them.
Har Har! Fine, you’re not a hipster. Maybe just a trendy dood who likes him sum indie tunes. I’ve never been to San Fran but I’d like to visit. I don’t most think hipsters even realize they are hipsters but they are trying real hard to be something unique . They are just buying into what they see as a new alternative trend. For example, I have a theory that all the emo kids disappeared because they grew up and traded in their black clothes, long straightened hair and converse for Toms shoes, tattoos and plaid shirts. Who knows? You should explore all the boroughs though, I’m sure you’ll find a spot that you’ll like more than the others.
P.S. I will love the stokes til i die. the end.
I’ve been to all the boroughs so far except for Staten Island. Been to Queens for a Mets game, Bronx for a Yankees game, Brooklyn for all sorts of foolishness, and I live in upper Manhattan. So I’ve dipped my toe in four of five. Haven’t spent much time in Bronx or Queens though.
Is This It? is one of my five favorite albums all – time. Their second album is also great.
Is this it pretty much set me up for all the music I would like throughout high school (except for the earlier limp bizkit days) . I really really enjoy their newest album too.