I grew up attending a Southern Baptist church in south Louisiana. Both my parents were ordained Southern Baptist ministers, though they long since switched denominations. I ate from a buffet of fundamentalist hatred and bigotry each Sunday morning for 12 to 15 years. No surprise, then, I have issues with organized religion. Today, I’m reading a book about Iraq’s people called Night Draws Near. Some of the fundamentalist clerics author Anthony Shadid described within remind me of Southern Baptist ministers I have encountered. I don’t need to meet anymore fundamentalist holy men — whether Christian or Muslim.

NOTE: This is a composite sketch of Southern Baptist ministers I heard preach — I did not include my parents in the composite because they always struck me as moderate, even left-leaning (oh no!). The worst offenders were the revivalists. They would scream and stomp and work themselves into striking distance of a heart attack. All to rescue sinners like me. Also: I upped the tithe amount most pastors request. Call it artistic liberties.

Click below for “Don’t, The Pastor Said (You’ll Go To Hell)”.
[Read more...]