“Jersey Shore” — Season 5, Episode 4

Same Shore, Different Season

If only I had known Danny was looking for a new housemate …

I could have been the first ghost guido. No tan, no gym, no laundry. I would have shaken the house up. Alas, I did not see the “Help Wanted” sign.

Maybe next summer!

Click below for my thoughts on Episode 4.

— Lil Ronnie’s reaction to Vinny’s new chest tattoo was my favorite moment of the episode. Vinny’s tattoo said, “Let Go, Let God.” This perplexed Lil Ronnie. “I have no idea what it means,” the HGH lovin’ guido said. What? Has he spent his entire life in a fist-pumpin’ cocoon? It is a pretty self-explanatory statement. The fact Lil Ronnie acted dumbfounded made me laugh. Reminded me we are not watching a MENSA convention.

— I wish MTV would give me a warning when T-shirt shop scenes are upcoming so I could skip them. They are boring. They always feature one of two things: cast members blowing off their jobs — and why would they take those seriously? — or flirting with grenadish looking boardwalk girls. Yawn.

— Danny should focus on making better T-shirts. Then, he can find another new housemate. That’s ignoring the fact MTV had no plans to bring in another roommate. If anything, Danny’s threats to bring in another roommate were nothing more than a plot device. The show is fiction. Cajun Tomato’s recaps are fact.

— Who sprays Axe body spray on their balls? Apparently, Snitchuation does. And his poor bed … his poor bed must have smothered in the thick stench of body spray. I am surprised the girls who find their way into his spiderweb, er bed, do not vomit. Maybe he likes girls who vomit while “doing sex.” Freak!

— Sammi “Nada Sweetheart”‘s knockdown, dragout fight was a bit perplexing. The show offered no clues about who grabbed her hair or why. Curious editing job. Good quote by “Nada Sweetheart”: “You don’t yank my weave … I was taught to self-defend myself.” Maybe her brain was bruised in the altercation.

— Nice to see Lil Ronnie crying over someone other than “Nada Sweetheart.” Interesting, too, that their relationship has become such a nonfactor on the show. Maybe they discovered the antidote to their toxicity. Wonder if it has anything to do with catfights, HGH, and Axe body spray wafting from Snitchuation’s bed and balls.

— If I have learned anything from watching “Jersey Shore” it is that real men don’t cuddle … they call cabs for their hookups. Chivalry lives. It comes with a metered price.

— Meatball gangsta strut … perhaps, if they would have suffered twin strokes, they would have walked with more authority and toughness. Speaking of health-related issues … Snooki’s drinking-related faux-heart attack made me ponder how bad the cast’s hangovers must be. That is unless they have built up a superhuman tolerance. The cast’s livers (and libidos) are the true stars of the show.

— Deena, take the butterfly wings off. On second thought, leave them on. Remain clothed. This is progress, I guess.

One thought on ““Jersey Shore” — Season 5, Episode 4”

  1. I really enjoy watching Jersey Shore; it’s a guilty pleasure of mine. Lately I have been so busy with working at DISH and school; I haven’t had time to watch it. I was able to use DISH Online to catch up on Sammi’s brawl right on my computer. It’s a great way to stay connected to my shows when I want. I really want to know who she got in a fight with, oh well. I can’t wait for next week’s episode.

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