I wrote this open letter to my Republican friends to let them know it would all be OK.
Dear Republican friends,
I know today feels like the death of America and the end of the world all rolled into one. I’ve read your Facebook posts and tweets. Your guy lost. I get it. Now President Obama’s going to fulfill his nefarious plan to make America a socialist country, take away your guns, let immigrants run wild picking all manner of crops, and bankrupt us all. Hell, he’ll probably fulfill a portion of his plan while smoking a doobie and reading the Koran during a same-sex marriage ceremony in the Oval Office. We are surely going to hell in a hand basket.
This is fantasy though. Star Wars VII, that’s reality.