Tag Archives: Jersey Shore

Most Viewed Posts (1st Quarter 2012 Edition)

King Midas Pujol

This is my 60th post of 2012. Don’t blow out the candles just yet. I set an unofficial goal for myself to post 365 times this year. I am slightly behind. I am averaging two posts every three days.

I am also averaging more than 100 page views per day this year. Not bad. The redhead in me wants more, more, MORE!!! I’ll lower my voice now.

Here are my five most viewed posts through the first three months of 2012. Guidos, meth cooks, and quarterbacks head the list. A special shout out to my friend, Jordy Pujol, who has the Midas touch when it comes to blogging. PS: The publication date is in parentheses. Interestingly, four of the five were written in January.

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Cajun Tomato’s Most Viewed Posts Jan. 8-15, 2012

That distant, yet clear sound you hear is me screaming “ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!” at the top of my lungs. There is no end in sight to my furor. Hell, the next football season is eight months away. I might yell my lungs out. I might not. We shall see. Oh! The intrigue!

The ironic thing about LSU and the Saints each wrapping their seasons in disappointing, yet wildly different fashions is not that I am still smarting from their losses days later. It is that they, in turn, sparked my highest page view count in the history of this blog. For that, I owe a large debt of gratitude to my friend, Jordy Pujol.

Here were the five most viewed posts for Jan. 8-15:
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"Jersey Shore" — Season 4, Episode 11

No. I don't have photos of Deena's kooka.

You’re welcome, Italy.

For all the ‘roided out aggression.

For all the overexposed meatball kookas.

For showing you the difference between hookers and Jersey.

You have seen the best guidos and guidettes our fine Shore had to offer. You will never see an Orange Dream Team like this again. Until, um, next Thursday night. Best Reality TV Night of My Life!

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"Jersey Shore" — Season 4, Episode 9

No. I don't have photos of Deena's kooka.

Ahhhhhh. So that’s what a kooka-free “Jersey Shore” episode looks like. I had forgotten.

The theme of Episode 9 was less kooka, more ugly tears. There was a pregnancy scare, bad dancing at imitation Karma, and a surprise rebound hookup at episode’s close.

It’s all leading up to an inglorious conclusion four episodes from now, I am sure. What will I do with myself once the season ends? Must. Not. Think. About. This! (slow tear)

Italian-style Guido Super Party in 3, 2, 1 ….

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"Jersey Shore" — Season 4, Episode 8

No. I don't have photos of Deena's kooka.

Deena’s kooka, Deena’s kooka, Deena’s kooka …

… Snooki’s kooka, Snooki’s kooka, Snooki’s kooka.

All this meatball kooka is going to cause my Cajun head to explode. Notice: I spelled kooka correctly this week. Last week I came in first on Yahoo! and Google searches for Deena’s cooka, a term I misspelled.

My goal this week is to attain the top slot for Snooki’s kooka. It’s probably a long shot, like the odds of Jionni and Snooki’s relationship working after the events of Episode 8.

Here are my thoughts on an episode full of tears, bad dancing, and, you guessed it, kooka sightings.

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"Jersey Shore" — Season 4, Episode 7

"Jersey Shore": My new/old addiction

WARNING: There are lots of “cooka” related spoilers in this recap so if you haven’t seen Episode 7 you probably should watch it and then read this later.

“Deena’s cooka” is the No. 1 search item for my blog today. And it’s not even close. Some people have arrived at my site by searching “Deena’s cooka pictures.”

Sorry to disappoint, but I don’t have any pictures of Deena’s “cooka.” Ironically, the mere mention of the words “pictures of Deena’s cooka” might actually bring me more page views. Hooray for the Interwebs!

If you watched Episode 7 Thursday night, you know that Deena’s cooka came out with a vengeance. She and Snooki snookered for hours.  Ooh la la! or Ugh la la! You decide!

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"Jersey Shore" — Season 4, Episode 4

"Jersey Shore": My new/old addiction

Roid rage? Check.

Lesbianic activities? Check.

Ugly tears? Check.

The fourth episode of “Jersey Shore” Season Four had a buffet of silly, manufactured drama Thursday night. And I loved each and every minute of it. Sunday’s episode should be a doozy of “Come at me, bro!” proportions.

As always, there are spoilers below, or should I write SPOILERS BELOW? PS: If you’re asking yourself why you’re reading this when you have work to do that probably means you’re doing something right. I’m looking at you, Erin. PPS: I am referring to Situation as Snitchuation in this recap for reasons I don’t need to explain, if you watched Thursday’s episode.

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"Jersey Shore" — Season 4, Episode 3

"Jersey Shore": My new/old addiction

I promised Miss Rhode Island, Natalie Worsham, I would sum up “Jersey Shore” Season 4, Episode 3 while on my lunch break today. Well, here I am on my late lunch break (actually, a coffee break) typing a few thoughts on the episode, which aired last Thursday.

I encourage you to also check out my thoughts on Episode 1 and Episode 2. Yes, I am a grown-ass man writing about guidos and guidettes. Tis the life of kings.

WARNING: There are plenty of spoilers below. If you haven’t seen the third episode, you probably should do that before reading further.

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"Jersey Shore" — Season 4, Episode 2

"Jersey Shore": My new/old addiction

Here’s what I don’t get about the “Jersey Shore” housemates: They can smoosh anyone they want because of their fame, their money, their abs/boobs … and yet they seem hellbent on smooshing one another inside the house. Why is that?

My best guess is they spend so much time together in claustrophobic confines that they become tricked into believing their housemates represent an oasis from the “DTF” skanks and manwhores they encounter daily. There is no such oasis though on the “Jersey Shore.” Buy the ticket, fist pump like a champion.

Thursday’s second episode featured relationship drama between Situation and Snooki, Pauly D and Deena and Single Ronnie and Sammi “Sweeheart” (groan!). Per Ronnie and Sammi: How do you say “no mas” in Italian? (No massimo? It sounds close.)

Without further ado: My thoughts on the “Jersey Shore” kids latest dalliances in Italy. PS: You can read my Season Four, Episode 1 thoughts here.

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The Cajun Tomato Prepares To "Party Down South"

Cajun Tomato in full-on party mode!

This evening one of my roommates, @ben_lundin, gave me an unexpected, yet significant bit of news. MTV, he told me, is casting for a show called “Party Down South.” Envision a bayou version of “Jersey Shore” and you have “Party Down South.”

It will be sweltering, slutty and subtitled, if I know anything about Cajuns and MTV.

I’m Cajun. If I had to use three words to describe Cajuns I’d say we’re fun, prideful, and a tad ridiculous. “All they do is drink and fuck,” a former coworker from south Louisiana remarked about people down the bayou. His fake Cajun accent resembled something you would hear between Cut Off, Louisiana, and Jamaica.

“Party Down South” is looking for castmates from the Gulf region. I’ve got news for the casting directors. If you’re looking for the true crazy, skip Mississippi and Alabama. That’s not where the action is. Go straight to Louisiana. And while you’re at it … add The Cajun Tomato to the show’s cast. (I’m the good crazy.)

Here are my answers to “Party Down South”‘s questionnaire. Without further ado, check out my “coonass” credentials.

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