Cajun Tomato’s NYC 100 is a periodic series chronicling my experiences and observations as a New Yorker. Post No. 51 titled “Things I Would Rather Do Than Go Outside” is fairly self-explanatory.
New York City is in the midst of a heat wave. AccuWeather predicts temps in the city will hit 12 degrees when the clock strikes noon. That may sound dreadful, and believe me it is, but it marks a 10-degree upswing since overnight. So yeah, NYC heat wave 2015!
Here’s a list off the top of my head of things I would rather do than go outside:
5. Have a pro wrestler smash my MacBook Pro into my back like it was a folding chair.
4. Take a few bites from a bowl of onion soup and promptly vomit.
3. Listen to an mp3 file of the N/Q train passing my window on-repeat until I lose my shit, lose my hearing, or both.
2. Converse with my landlord. Giggle on the inside as his voice grows louder for no reason. Nod my head when he asks Is this not true? to a question that pertains to me in no way. (My landlord is the best. I doubt he knows about the Internet. He’ll never read this.)
1. Invent more lists that would serve as doggy toilet paper if only they were printed in a newspaper.